33.

snow

i miss the snow back home. it always feels more christmasy when its freezing cold outside. so cold all you want to do is stay inside and be as cozy as possible then look at the winer wonderland outside. white hot chocolate, slippers, christmas movies on tv one after the other :)

miss you.

stitching leggings

well Sometimes I Think That You Hate Me
and Other Times I Think You That You Think I'm Endearing
well Sometimes I Just Don't Know You At All
even Though I'd Like To Think I Was A Bit Of A Know It All
sometimes I Just Can't Work You Out
even Though I'd Like To Know What You Were About

well Atleast I Don't Have All The Power In The World So I Just Can't Fuck Everything Else Up

my recent work

shock and awe

acrylic on paper

could be both

acrylic on paper

curiosity

acrylic on paper

i really miss you

acrylic on paper

undecided

acrylic on paper

Thankful

-animals

-apartment

-books

-braids

-bow ties

-beads

-buttons

-butterflies

-canada

-conversation

-colors

-candles

-cinnamon

-clouds

-clay

-camp fires

-dresses

-desert

-family

-friends

-food

-flowers

-flags

-fish

-french toast

-fall

-home

-hugs

-horses

-history

-honey combs

-imagination

-kisses

-laughing

-movies

-mountains

-mint

-music

-nail polish

-paint

-poetry

-purple

-pockets

-pictures

-roommates

-rocks

-rings

-rainbows

-sunflowers

-shoes

-scarves

-stained glass

-sunshine

-sail boats

-tattoos

-wind

-wood

-wine

-yoga

first of my wood cut out faze..

tangled

acrylic, marker and sticker paper on wood

2011

worst of it

acrylic, marker and sticker paper on wood

2011

...this one is part of a diptych but sadly i don't have a photo of the second piece at the moment, it's basically a plain light blue canvas with the same character right in the middle. very much in contrast to this one..

some more of my art work..

figure

acrylic on canvas

2011

t-rex
acrylic and medium on canvas
2011

merman
acrylic and marker on canvas
2011

..i died

italian impressions

pen on paper
2011
one of mine.

Be Water My Friend

Be Water My Friend

print on paper

2010

brown

Be Water My Friend

print on paper

2010

green

this is a print i did fairly recently of Bruce Lee. this is my interpretation i guess, of an interview with him where he talks about martial arts and how, i'm paraphrasing here, he says don't be the teapot but be the water and flow out of the teapot and into the cup, you must be water my friend..."

Find Love

Find Love
acrylic and ink on canvas
3X3
2009

So i decided it's time i post some of my own art online. here is one of the first large painting i did, took quite some time because i first drew out the pattern then transferred then painted then outlined :) i think this piece has been one of the most enjoyable in terms of its process to finished product :)

Really Random Facts...

#69
Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never phoned his wife or his mother. They were both deaf.

#66
Ever heard of a Cryovolcano? It's a volcano that shoots out ICE rather than lava.

#62
When you put a seashell next to your ear, it's the sound of your blood surging in your veins, not the ocean.

#53
Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.

#45
You are about 1 centimeter taller in the morning than in the evening.

#44
Thomas Edison, lightbulb inventor, was afraid of the dark.

#19
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

#2
When it's hot outside, your more likely to get in a fight.

the hood

currently scamming internet off the balcony of my new apartment while listening to.. someone.. belt 'rolling in the deep' as loud as they can.. i cant quite place which window its coming from.. its now past 8pm and our beautiful neighbor, who is on time every single other night, should be outside on his balcony bbqing or cooking over the stove just inside in nothing but his tight ass black underwear, yeah you read that right, with his two little kids running around him and his semi good looking wife in the background. sitting outside staring at him do this has become part of our routine every night. its like a movie honestly lol he would never get away with something like this back home. oh and i didnt mention but he is ripped! :) should we feel guilty about ohing and awing over him because he clearly is married with a cute little fam, probably..
true blood has become a new obsession of the house, though we have only made it through the first two episodes due to our current internet, or lack of, situation..
tomorrow is the first official art history lecture of the year and i am super stoked! our prof is this super cute old guy from cech who has been teaching this class for over 25 years.. he knows his shit :)
just about to go back to the studio for some late night drawing :) we are in the middle of our first assignment which is supposed to be a collage of 10 words that express our first impressions of moving here.. its pretty lame and we only have had a week, kinda feels like a waste of time cause we could have just jumped right in and started with our body of work that we will each be creating in our time here. whatever i am having fun with mine, doing a drawing instead and collaging my words into each other in the drawing.. we'll see how it goes.. so far it is proving to be a much more difficult task than i originally planned for because of the scale i'm working on and the detailed imagery.. we'll see
i really want to get a tattoo while im here so im having fun brainstorming ideas about it.
i've been having really weird dreams ever since i've been here involving random sonorous with people back home. still have trouble falling asleep every night and still feel anxious all the time but what else is new.. such is life and life is good :)

whats not to love..

first day

currently sitting in an internet cafe in Florence with two of my roommates, julie and alanna. me and julie arrived today.. well yesterday?
we lest the 31 at 6pm and finally ended up in italy at 1:30ish today, the 1st of september.. currently running on my 5 hour sleep i got two days ago before i left. lol took a taxi to our place :D its beautiful! high ceilings all white and big windows with green shutters! -picture to come
we have been walking around the city already today and saw the duomo and beautiful big squares :)
so so happy!
next to go home and un pack.. then ptfo for a while :)

written in the air

-currently over the atlantic in the most uncomfortable plain ride ever! girl beside me seems nice but wouldn't let me have the aisle seat.. bitch. oh wait.. oh ok some turbulence.. here we go again.. already crushed two and a half flicks, 1 the losers.. pretty lame but kept me entertained enough, the second was a documentary style done of course by the lovely BBC called Human Planet: Jungles, that was sick! all about different people groups that live in different jungles all over the world.. GAHHH more turbulence! 'crew to your seats' that cant be good.. anyways! i will choose to ignore/try to ignore my surroundings and ramble some more about the movie. there were tribes of people in south america who build there houses wayy up in the tree tops! and other tribes that are all into the musicalness of the forest who where playing the drums almost with the river. just smacking it with there hands and creating a beat that others would join in on down the river to put together a rawring natural song :) the last one i didnt get fully through, it was another BBC The Earth Made Us: water.. or something like that. it was aight.. to distracted though otherwise i would defs be more into it.

-been up to pee twice, and to be honest I have nooo clue what time it really is.. the cell phone I have with me (from Canada) says 12;41 am, but my laptop (also from Canada) says 11;12pm…

-I know our air plain pulled out of the docking stating to go over to the run strip at 6:05 pm –my phone time.. so I think ive now been in the air for  almost 7 hours… GAH MORE TURBULANCE!

Also looking at the flight tracking I am now almost over the altantic!! Hurray! We are about to fly over Ireland and the UK then next is onto the mainland to touch down in Brussels Belgium!!

-local time at destination arrival 5:23am.. im so lost

-estimated time of arrival 7:02?

sweet thigh tattoo

getting close now!

holy god it is almost a week now until i will be flying out to a far off place :D i am unbelievably excited and of course nervouse, nervous for the flight for sure.. defs the flight :( ugh. hurray for meds that make you calm down or else i dont know how people do this! lol i just recieved an update about what my appartment is like over there and it sounds like a dream!! PERFECT! the first thing i would like to do is.. lets be honest.. probs shower and sleep.. but when the jetlag is bearable i wanna go for a walk through the streets, find my school, find a good place to buy groceries, go see the duomo! go see the david! go see my school again!!! AW just so much exploring!!

the world

I LOVE this so much!

but i cant decide if i would love it enough forever to acctualy get something like this on my back..

awesome placement, i think just the outline looks perfect!

humm..

thinking about it though.

love you

quote of the day

Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together

Hot Chelle Rae

TONIGHT TONIGHT!

It’s been a really really messed up week

Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter

And my girlfriend went and cheated on me

She’s a California dime but it’s time for me to quit her

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn’t matter, la la la, oh well, la la la

We’re going at it tonight tonight

There’s a party on the rooftop top of the world

Tonight tonight and were dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign

I don’t know if I’ll make it but watch how good I’ll fake it

Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

I woke up with a strange tattoo

Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket 

And it kinda looks just like you

Mixed with Zach Galifianakis 

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn’t matter, la la la, oh well, la la la

We’re going at it tonight tonight

There’s a party on the rooftop top of the world

Tonight tonight and were dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign

I don’t know if I’ll make it but watch how good I’ll fake it

Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

You got me singing like

Woah, come on, ohh, it doesn’t matter, woah, everybody now, ohh

Just don’t stop let’s keep the beat pumpin’

Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down

It’s my party dance if I want to

We can get crazy let it all out

Just don’t stop let’s keep the beat pumpin’

Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down

It’s my party dance if I want to

We can get crazy let it all out

Its you and me and were runnin this town

And its me and you and were shakin the ground

And ain’t nobody gonna tell us to go cause this is our show

Everybody

Woah, come on, ohh, all you animals

Woah, let me hear you now, ohh

Tonight tonight there’s a party on the rooftop top of the world

Tonight tonight and were dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign

I don’t know if I’ll make it but watch how good I’ll fake it

Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

Yeah its all right, all right, tonight, tonight

Just singing like

Woah, come on, ohh, all you party people

Woah, all you singletons, ohh, even the white kids

Just don’t stop lets keep the beat pumpin’

Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down

Its my party dance if I want to

We can get crazy let it all out

Just don’t stop lets keep the beat pumpin’

Keep the beat up, lets drop the beat down

Its my party dance if I want to

We can get crazy let it all out 


--
I can't get this freakin song our of my head! Love it!
but seriously take a break!

what a night

saw the last Harry Potter movie last night at 12 :D it was brilliant!

--

got up at 3 today. fuck

what to do

sunshine

the tingling feeling on the surface of my skin.

the sense of relief in my mind as if my brain is being released from a headache i didn't know i had.

my face settles smooth.

my shoulders settle back.

my chest rises with a deep breath that seems to fill my body with energy.

energy to stand. to jump. to run.

my skin, now warmed, is sending me signals to move. to touch. enjoy.

hips with the sudden urge to swing with forceful passion to the soundless drum of my heart.

the stride i now take gathers my legs close then stretches out searching for further ground.

heal toe. heal toe.

my feet are new.

how could i not know this feeling before?

its as if my whole body was in a muscle cramp and now its been massaged out into the darkest of space.

all thats left is new.

the casual touch of a stranger.

the deepest grasp from a lover.

both actions are amplified.

creating small explosions just beneath my skin.

i think of only what i can do.

the rush of ideas that are pulled out of me can be free in the world and do what they will to those they find.

now i am good.

now i am happy.

ecstatic i open my mouth to express this.

but instead let out a sigh with the sight of a cloud.

--also again from the old blog. also the first poem i ever wrote

what we don't know

just watched a movie trailer on apple and was thinking about some stuff.. there are so many outrageous theories and conspiracies out there.. how many are true?

this trailer i just watched was for the movie Super 8 and it looks like its gunna be about stuff to do with Area 51.

so prior to thinking about this shit i didnt think anything of the alien myths, but if anyone has ever seen the movie Wag the Dog you start to think.. whats actually truth? the government, media, anyone with the power, could make us believe anything they want and we would be none the wiser.

Area 51 is a real place that is entirely off limits to the public. all we really know is that it is sometimes used to test new kinds of aircrafts and weapons for the military. There are of course the many theories that all knowledge of extra terrestrial life is whats being hidden in there but the possibilities are endless. there are signs up miles away from the actual location that say if you get any closer you will be shot! now i still dont know how i feel about the whole alien hypothesis.. but what the fuck do they not want us to know?

if you think thats creepy, someone once told me that Albert Einstein was doing a study before he died. He had all kinds of proof and research but as soon as he made his final conclusion, once he achieved what he was trying to gain from him study.. he immediately destroyed everything. all traces that he had ever done this study where gone. he burned all his notes and disposed of all his material. when asked why he had done this after such extensive work, he replied, "He human race is not ready to know what i have discovered."

--another one from the old blog

Keep it clean

how good it feels to have a clean room.

cleaning the house is never a fun task especially when your told to do it.. but in your room. your own place of sanctuary where you are the sole owner of everything inside, to have all things organized and in their proper place and at your will, such a positive feeling.

i know well the feeling of being happy in your clutter, as my room usually looks like it just got hit by a tornado. and i don't except the threat that usually comes from your mother saying how embarrassed you'd be if someone came in your room right now to see that mess. i strongly believe in the explanation that anyone who is allowed to come in your room, should be someone you know well, as your room is a very personal place, and doesn't care about the condition of your floor, and if they do care that much, what are they doing in your room? i know exactly where everything is.. laptop, on that messy pile of last weeks clean clothes; shoes, ones in front of the door and the others under my bed; necklace, also in the pile of clean clothes.. but when i take the time to clean and i begin to sort out the misplaced things in my room, it starts to feel good, like I'm sorting my life and my ideas, i get going on this cleaning roll and suddenly i can see my floor, paints have the right lids and are over on the shelf, desk is cleared, and all the clean cloths are folded in their drawers.

positive energy is now able to circulate without being interrupted by mess and disorganization and the opportunity for new creativity arrives.

i once heard a story about a man who lived an ordinary life, no special job, plain girlfriend, nice family, but he always felt anxious and soon fell into depression because he felt so worthless and insignificant in the big world. when he finally gained the courage to reach for help, and it does take courage, he decided to try going to a therapist, the best in town. on his first day the therapist had the man tell him about an average day in his life and explain the way the things he does make him feel. after an hours session of the man ranting about the things that make him unhappy, this is what the therapist told him, "go home and tomorrow morning, make you bed." now the man reacted almost as if he had been insulted.. "what do you mean" he said, the best therapist in town who does not come cheep i might add, just told him to go home and start making his bed every morning. the man stormed out of the office with no intension of ever returning and repeatedly thought to himself what stupid advice he had just received and the money he had waisted. but for some reason, the next morning, that man made his bed. and he did this every morning for weeks. and a month later he returned to the therapist very apologetically and explained how he felt like a new man.

starting your day with order and routine helps motivate you for the rest of your day, which sometimes is all it takes to keep you happy and positive. so if your feeling distraught try making your bed in the morning and see how it effects your day.

--again this is a post from my first blog.. still applies :P

mwah.

a shade of red.
confidence in one step.
excentuating what you want.
making you look at me.
i know this.
but not just you.
the attention is addictive.
so i keep on using.
the once over, the double take.
all from them, this makes your heart ache.
because i choose to, you can't stop me.
but it only goes to your eyes as a frustrating temptation.

baby attention is fun for me,
but please let me leave my mark.
it'll rub off on you,
and smudge on me,
but my shade of red looks good on you too,
and without fail tells everyone who belongs to this girl.




-this is a poem i wrote last year and posted on my first blog also titled 'story of a girl' but sadly i forgot my password and changed my email so theres no getting in to it now. thought i would post it though, its pretty old..

songs

Rolling in the Deep (the Adele version but mostly the justin robbinett and michael henry version, also the glee version is really good)

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Half of my Heart

Someone Like You

What the Hell

--all preformed my justin robbinett and michael henry but also they're all good by the originals

missing my long hair today

just found this picture! and love it! i've had long long hair all my life then about two years ago i cut it all off and donated it. since then i rocked the short hair for a while but mostly missed my long hair lol so now its a little past my shoulders and growing.. one of the things i miss the most about haveing long flowing locks is being able to do stuff like this! BRAIDS!

linkin park

i tried so hard, and got so far,

but in the end, it doesn't even matter.

--

can't you see that your smothering me?

holding too tightly, afraid to loose control.

starryeyed

mistyclouds

Elvis

I may have a bit of a crush on the King...

dreamy

this is my fav.

wine

I had a few glasses of wine with my mom last night. We talked about history, outer space, beliefs, genetic trails, the future.. What ever came up. The style of conversation that has no end, its just a constant dialog of whatever topic either participant stumbles upon next :) Its always so fun to have those kinds of conversations with someone important in your life because you get to here their opinion on things without you wouldn't normally talk about.

Great Weekend

cottage times are great cause its all about having a good time. you may do work but its at your own pace and it will usually end in good food :) camp fire is a staple. so nice to walk away and still have that smell on your hoodie. tulip times where pretty special. also napping in the middle of the day! even if the weather isnt the best, you still gotta find those few hours to take the boat out and rip it up on the tube. doin it all with some good friends and some new friends :) beautiful
yea it was a good weekend.

can't sleep

shut your eyes
fall asleep
dream of good days
wake up
feel rested
start another day

vs.

get in bed
roll around
try to get comfortable
think your close
then something itches
turn over
and over
then over again
think about what your thinking about
think about sleep
try again to settle down
breathe
push everything out
breathe
keep trying
yawn
im so tired
think of nothing
drift away
slowly
wake up
relax
it was only a dream

music feeds the soul

you know when you find that perfect song?
you hear it and the words or the melody or the instrumental just fits.

Love and Peace

Love and Peace
by Albino Raven

its true you could if only if i let you in.

could you be my support? be there when i need you. its a full time job. no room for excuses. could you do it? be on my side for ever? i need a shoulder every now and then. and for you to tell me jokes. and tell me when im just to much. bring me soup when im sick. run your fingers through my hair just because you want to touch me. please pick me up when i fall flat on my face. cause you know i will. you are strong. stronger than me. save me from my self my love. i need you.

Grey's Grief

Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.

It isn’t just death we have to grieve, its life, its loss, its change.

And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad, the thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.

That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you cant breathe, that’s how you survive.

By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you wont feel this way, it wont hurt this much.

Greif comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.

So the best we can do, the best anyone can do is try for honesty.

The really crappy thing the very worst part of grief is that you cant control it.

The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.

And let it go when we can.

The very worst part is that the minute you think your past it, it starts all over again.

And always, every time, it takes your breath away.

There are five stages of grief, they look different on all of us but there are always five.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

National Treasure

leave the pieces

it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
don't worry about this heart of mine

just take your love and hit the road

there's nothing you can do or say

you're gonna break my heart anyway

so just leave the pieces when you go

...

don't concern yourself
with this mess you left for me

I can clean it up, you see

just as long as you're gone

Miss Congeniality

This is one of my all time favorite movies. I used to watch it every time I went over to my Nans house for some reason. I think we liked it cause its such a girl power movie and lets face it Sandra Bullock is a babe. This is one of the best scenes!

Heartbreak Hotel

Giraff

ariel